Do you struggle with getting started, thinking “I don’t know enough”, or “What if I make a mistake?” or “There’s no way it will be good enough?
- Or maybe you start projects but never finish them?
- Or get distracted while doing them?
- Or never start because the anxiety feels like it will eat you alive?
Done is better than perfect.
This needs to be a mantra that you say to yourself over and over and over. Seriously.
Done is better than perfect.
Done is better than perfect.
It might seem odd to think that adults (and even kids) with ADHD can struggle with perfectionism, but this is more common than you might think. I hear clients in my office say this quite a bit, and here’s my theory:
When you’ve spent so much of your life being told that you can’t do anything, or being nagged to do it at all, then you start to believe that you can’t do anything right.
You were punished for mistakes. Heck, your mistakes were even labeled a disorder (ADD or ADHD). So, you learn that you will be criticized for mistakes, embarrassed for falling short, and told that you are stupid for even trying and failing.
This shame and pain is the legacy of growing up with ADHD (and other disorders too), and it keeps you from getting anything done. For many of you, this shame keeps you from even getting started.
Done is better than perfect.
I will confess that this pain and shame kept me from “marketing” my practice. I hid in my office, hoping that people will find me worthy enough to give me a call. Do you make yourself busy with a ton of research, learning all about the thing you know you need to do? I do, and did. All the busy-ness and research sort of relieves a tiny bit of my anxiety to feel like I am doing something…
but really, I’m just avoiding doing the thing I actually need to be doing.
Sound familiar?
Done is better than perfect.
So, for example, I have spent time researching how to build the perfect website, SEO, keyword placement, how to market your blog post on social media, and more, and etc. But, it wasn’t until just a couple of weeks ago that I finally just jumped in and did something - I put up a Facebook Page for my business. Facebook is hard for me because it stirs up feelings of shame and not being good enough - especially when I see how “perfect” everyone else’s lives seem to be.
How did I finally get myself to do it? (It took me over a year from the time I decided I wanted a FB page, to actually putting one up)
I did two things:
- Reminded myself that Done is better than Perfect
- Started with taking the teeny, tiniest, smallest step and did that. Then did the next teeny, tiny, smallest step. And then… well you get the point.
I don’t tell you that story in order to promote my business. My story is an all too common example of one of the biggest struggles of people with ADD/ADHD. Getting started is sometimes the hardest part.
Done is better than perfect.
And, when I did finally put myself out there, took the leap of faith and remembered that “Done is better than perfect”, I’ve met some really great new people through speaking at the ADHDKC.org meeting. I’ve received calls from people that have said “I’m so glad to have finally found you, I’ve been looking for help with my ADHD for such a long time!”
Not one single person has said to me “Well, I’m glad I found you, but your Facebook page sucks.”
Now, this doesn’t mean that your finished product will be junk, or should be junk. For most things, you can tweak your project later. Just getting something done, gives you data on how to improve that something - data that you might not have had before, but is incredibly helpful now.
Done gives you a starting place.
Done is something.
Done feels good, even if improvements can be made.
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Quick tip for Adults with ADHD - Use a Did It list when you are struggling with your To Do list, feeling overwhelmed, or stuck.